The Clouds of Night: Another Adventure for Sidra
by MyForbidden
Summary: A sequel to "Lost Daughter".
1. Chapter 1

Sari had never believed in Companions. Partially this was because he'd never seen one. Everyone had heard stories of the 'hell horses'; there was always someone who knew someone who'd seen one a long time ago in some battle or another, but this was not proof to Sari. He was never prone to daydreaming or tale spinning. He had never had an imaginary friend or put on great battles with whatever few real friends he had growing up. His life had always consisted of what lay in front of his face, and only that.

Mostly though, the reason why Sari didn't believe in Companions was because his mother did. She was the storyteller, the daydreamer. And even more humiliating to him was the fact that she not only believed, but wished she could meet one of them someday. In a world were Companions were considered anathema and the most awful of enemies, it was unheard of to want to see one. Not to befriend it anyway.

"Think of it, Saariyah," she would say. "Whiter than snow. Whiter than the moon. How could something so pure be evil?" This was where her son would roll his eyes and excuse himself.

The child Sari didn't care about Companions. He didn't believe in them and so did not fear or adore them. As the type of boy he was, he had absolutely no opinion on them whatsoever. His life, in the harsh underworld of Sunhame, consisted of the fleeting money in his pocket, his next trick, and finding a warm place for both his mother and himself to sleep. For a boy want of imagination, this was quite enough.

That was before Auberon of course. Even now, over ten years after the stallion had Chosen him in a marketplace, Sari wished his Companion had not chose that time to lift him out of the life he'd been locked into since his birth. He told himself that it was because he wished Auberon had Chosen him later, when Companions weren't such a new edition to life in Karse, who was now an ally to Valdemar after centuries of blood feud. If only he had waited another year, then Sari might not have the memory of his little slum in an uproar; he wouldn't hear the cries of conservative priests calling him a traitor in his ears; and he might be able to forget the subsequent weeks of traveling, weeks of near starvation until they had reached the border.

That was what he told himself. Deep down though, he knew he really wished Auberon had come a year earlier. When his mother had still been alive.

_It is all right to miss her_, Auderon said gently, almost sounding as if he spoke right by Sari's ear.

_I miss her stories, even though I hated them. I wish I had been better to her while she'd been_ alive, Sari answered. _Why do I only think of her when I'm in here?_

Auberon chuckled but didn't quite answer. Sari didn't need him to. Sari always thought of his mother when he was in the Sun Shrine. It was the closest thing to Sunhame as he could get, and if he was being entirely honest, probably the closest reminder of his old home that he wanted. Queen Selenay had asked him once if he wanted to join the delegation that travelled back into Karse to represent Valdemar, but he had declined. Sunhame had not been kind to him, and it was more important that he stay on his Circuit.

It had helped that his reputation had backed him up. In Valdemar, Herald Sari was known for chasing down bandits and rescuing children from wells. He was not known as a former whore. In Valdemar, he was a faithful servant of the Crown. He was not a traitor to his community. In Valdemar, according to Ambassador Karal, he was a living representative of the very partnership between the two former warring countries, even more so than Herald Alberich, who had been confined to Haven for most of his career. He was not, and would not, be perceived as a show off, flaunting his new, more successful life to the gutter rats he used to call his friends and family.

_Now you're just being dramatic_, Auderon chided.

_I'm being truthful_, Sari corrected. True, in his years of training and work, Sari had become more friendly with the idea of stories and things existing beyond the edge of his nose, but Sari was no less practical than he had ever been. He was still the exasberation to his friends and brothers-in-arms in the fact that he had very little patience for things that were not true. And he did not like drama.

He did like his work. And he very much liked knowing where he would be tomorrow and the next day. Oh sure, there were days when he wasn't sure if he would make the next waystation, or the next town, but to know that he would never have to beg for food fulfilled a definite necessity in Sari's life. To be able to look on a map and know the route he would be taking, to have a plan, to have a permenant position, these were invaluable things in his life. He was grateful for everything Valdemar had given him. How could he not be happy here? Why would he ever want to leave?

_You say the prettiest words, princeling_, Auberon teased.

_Were you a Bard in another life?,_ Sari asked, disgruntled.

_I have no idea.  
_

Out of the corner of his eye, Sari saw something move and he turned to look. As if he knew it would happen, a rather large cat strode down the main aisle of the Shrine through alternating beams of sunlight that made his cream color fur shine as if it was made of the same stuff. Only the rust colored streaks that striped his legs, tail, and head stopped the eye from missing him in the light completely. The firecat paused when he saw Sari, whipping his tail once in a lazy sort of greeting, and then moved on his way.

Rarely did Sari see Altra without Ambassador Karal, as the firecat was the something of a Karsite version of a Companion. Unlike Companions however, firecats had no qualms about speaking to people other than their Chosen, and they also used their magical powers freely. Companions were somewhat prudish, preferring to act as a stable ground or anchor, rather than a doorway or shortcut like a firecat. In Altra's case, he was also a set of eyes for Karal, who was physically blind. Companions were also much more numerous than firecats; Altra was only one of two in existence.

Sari had never seen Hansa, the other of the rare firecats, as he lived in Sunhame, but he was quite sure that Hansa was not quite so as undignified as Altra. Though he was a being of some importance, Altra seemed to go out of his way to make himself accessable, even more so than Companions, since most did not allow themselves to be handled by anyone but their Chosen. Altra was known to demand scratches and attentions from anyone who was in the room, especially from children who were less likely to see him as anything but a regular cat, despite his large size.

Sari watched as Altra stalked up the aisle and then sat, waiting for the figure who stood at the door of the shrine to come fully into the room. She was small and slight, looking no more than in her mid-teens but the way she carried herself spoke of a greater age. For a moment, Sari couldn't see her face for she had bent down to remove her shoes, then after placing them beside the door, stood up straight and began to walk slowly into the room.

In the door, she had been somewhat bathed in shadow, now in full sunlight she glowed brighter than Altra had, and in hues of white and silver rather than gold and cream. Her hair was white, her clothes were white, even her skin was paler than the average, certainly more so than Sari's own. Once, another Herald had described to Sari what he thought a vrondi would look like in human form (both of his parents were Bards, so he was prone to romantic yarns), and this girl looked exactly that. She was quite ethereal and it took Sari's breath away.

She bent only once to scratch Altra behind the ear; he leaned into it like any attention hungry cat and Sari had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. He was surprised again however, because when she started to walk again, the firecat followed suit, stalking beside her as if he were her dog.

Once more she paused, this time just by Sari's side. Now Sari had a close-up view of her and it amended his first impression. Her outfit, obviously Herald's Whites although they were cut in a slightly strange style, were not completely without color. The edges of her sleeves were trimmed in tiny, embroidered vines and leaves, all in shades of green, yellow, and crimson. The vines extended out, growing paler and paler, linking into dyed patches of fabric shaped like flowers in the same colors, and almost desernable from the base fabric unless they caught the light just so. Once he got over the artistry of the fabric, he began to realize that her Whites reminded him of the Shin'a'in delegates but in a Valdemarian style. It was a Shin'a'in jacket, except it was longer, and her boots were Valdemarian save for the Shin'a'in trim. And of course, he had never seen the Shin'a'in without any beads or with so little trim, but it all seemed to work somehow.

The thing that drew his gaze inevitably was her face. Even that looked just a bit Shin'a'in, with a slightly longer nose and a slightly taller upper lip. It was all partially hidden, however, by the strip of cloth that covered where her eyes should be (which of course matched her Whites to perfection). Even Sari, who had little to no imagination, wondered what her eyes would have looked like.

She turned slightly towards him and said in perfect, unaccented Karsite, "I have not interrupted your meditation, have I?" Her voice, though it was in a whisper, wrapped around him like comforting arms. Sari, without thinking, shook his head, and then he blushed since she obviously couldn't see, but she only smiled slightly and went on her way. He watched her, stunned, until she made her way to one of the more private alcoves against the wall and sat down on a bench.

Altra physically brought him back by slapping him in the arm with his tail. Both the firecat and Auberon chuckled in the back of his mind. Altra headbutted him in the temple briefly, and then, after winking one deep blue eye, pounced away to jump up next to the newcomer on her bench.

Sari had heard of Herald Sidra of course but had never met her. He was a career patrol man, virtually married to his Circuit, and rarely spent more than two weeks in Haven. And from what he'd heard, Herald Sidra did not appear very often to those who did not need her, having most of her time taken up by those who did, and Sari was did not belong among them. Still, somehow he was glad to have finally gotten the chance to see her.

At once, he got up and began to make his way back to the entrance of the shrine. Altra's chuckle danced at his heels as he walked. Once outside, he let out a deep breath- had he been holding it in the whole time or was that just his imagination?

Auberon outright laughed, coming up to lip Sari's sleeve. Sari immediately swung himself up onto his back, weaving his fingers in the Companion's silky mane.

_Oof. As if you don't spend enough time up there. We finally get a break- you had to offer skip our last leave- and you ride everywhere.  
_

_Fine, I'll go borrow one of Karal's horses._ For a moment, he stayed silent, letting his body sway in Auberon's familier gait. The truth was he felt almost ungainly on his own feet. On Auberon's back, he could go anywhere, at any speed, but on his feet, he felt like he could trip at any moment. He hid it well, and made no excuses when someone pointed it out, but that didn't mean he liked it.

_Lazy.  
_

_What the hell is wrong with me?,_ Sari asked.

Auberon laughed again. _She has that affect on most people the first time. Sayvil loves to tell everyone about the time Kero met her.  
_

_What happened?  
_

_She hugged Sidra. Hugged her! Can you imagine Kero hugging anyone?_

Sari smiled. Since Herald Kerowyn had helped train Sari in the combat arts, he was well aware of how affectionate she could be.

_Did she sprout wings and fly out the window?  
_

_No, but Sayvil almost died of laughter. Kero tried to make her swear not to tell anyone but by then, most of us in Haven knew. Sidra, for her part, has been kind enough not to mention it._

_Things like that do NOT happen to me_, Sari said stubbornly.

_And I'm told that she made Herald Alberich smile within the first five minutes when they first met_, his Companion went on, _And you are due, my dear. It's about time you had something shake that inner calm of yours._

_Oh, and I suppose you're infallible!_

_I am a Companion! Made of the wind, I run like no other, a silver and white-_

"That's it, I'm walking!" Sari practically threw himself off Auberon's back. "You _were_ a Bard in a past life, or at least a player! I'm on leave! I don't have to take this!"

_You love it…_

Sari grumbled in response, but he made the mistake of actually looking at Auberon, whose blue eyes widened and started glistening like he was no older than a foal, and Sari couldn't help but press his forehead to his Companion's soft nose. It did irritate him that Auberon's personality was so fluid, but he knew it was to counterbalance the set stone of Sari's own. Auberon had forced him to grow, was still continuing to do so in many ways. It was annoying, but also stimulating.

He kept that from Auberon though, who was now pretending to cry (_You yelled at me!_), because he was sure he would never hear the end of it. If nothing else, that was one thing they both had in common; tenacity.

_As if you would relax on your leave anyway. I'm surprised you haven't managed to get us assigned again._

"Trust me, I'm working on it. And I _was_ relaxing until today."

_Two lovers pass in the night and their eyes meet under the-_

"I need a break…"

_I thought I was giving you one. I was misquoting on purpose, you see. The line isn't really "and their eyes meet…"_

_No! Don't tell me! I'm not listening! _Sari shoved the nose away and bolted, running down the Field. Of course Auberon caught up with him, and danced around him like they were at a celebration. Sari was so distracted by trying to escape that they nearly trampled over another Companion.

_I was trying to nap, _a new voice suddenly said, and Sari realized it was coming from this unfamiliar Companion. The tone of his voice was light and without emotion, but he threw a warning kick in Auberon's general direction with one hind leg. This stallion had a draft horse's build, thicker and steadier than Auberon's cutting horse frame. This didn't surprise Sari since he'd seen Companions both smaller than Auberon and even bigger than this newcomer, but Sari had never seen another Companion who shared Auberon's one very unusual feature; they both had long feathered socks.

Auberon easily dodged the kick and further surprised his Chosen by bowing his head and throwing back his ears. The stallion briefly threw back one of his own ears, and regarded the younger Companion evenly.

_At least I was not fully asleep when you bumped into me._

"Sorry, it was my fault-" Sari started tosay.

_It was not, _the stallion interrupted. His tone was confusing Sari a bit. He didn't sound angry, or even annoyed, but Sari still felt as if he'd been caught filching a late night snack from the kitchens.

_I am sorry, _said Auberon, meekly_._

_I am sure you are, but certain bonds work two ways. Learn a bit of control from your Chosen, _he said simply, and moved away, walking in the direction of the Shrine.

When he was gone, Sari asked_, Are you all right?_

_I'm fine, _Auberon answered, straightening up_. Jereth has that effect on me. He always has. _Auberon sighed._ He knows so much more than even I think the Grove-born could guess. _

Sari sensed a bit of pride in Auberon's mind-voice_. And why would you say that?_

_If he was your father, you would know, _Auberon said simply. Then he reared up a bit and stomped his front hooves, breaking the mood_. Race you to the stables!_

Herald Sari watched his Companion take off, momentarily stunned for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Then he shook his head and began trotting back toward the Palace.

_Author's note- Just so you know, draft horses are known for their patience, docile temperament and their strong muscles, as well as the feathered legs most people picture when they think about them. Their most famous breed is the Clydesdale, and their tallest is the Shire, but draft horses can also be as small as ponies, so Jereth is not necessarily taller than Auberon._

_Edit: Originally, I had on here that the Clydesdale was the tallest breed of horse- not true! Thank you, Nighshae, for correcting me!_

_Canadian Cutting horses are athletic, good sprinters, intelligent, and physically well proportioned. They are similar to American Quarter horses, which their breed is based upon. They don't have the feathered socks that drafts horses do, but then Companions are not horses. ;D Since Jereth sired Auberon, it is conceivable that he got the feathered socks too. _


	2. Chapter 2

Herald Elspeth threaded her hands together in order to stop herself from reopening the letter that lay on her desk. Only today had she received any relief from the anxiety that had plagued her since the letter had arrived three days ago, and she had no desire to relive it. Reading the letter again would certainly cause her to start pacing again, and Sidra had only just helped her to stop about an hour ago. The blind Herald had soothed a few of Elspeth's fears, firstly by calming her down, second by volunteering to travel to Errold's Grove to answer Silverfox's letter in person. Then thinking about Sidra made her want to start pacing as well and it took a considerable amount of willpower to keep her body still by the window.

It wasn't that Sidra couldn't take on the mission. If fact, her Gifts made her perfect for it, second only to Elspeth and Darkwind themselves. It was Elspeth's personal feelings towards Sidra that was making it difficult for her. She couldn't help it, the young woman had become so special to all those assigned to and studying at the Palace and Collegia in Haven. Sidra was not like other Heralds, and she had never been tried beyond the walls of the city.

Yet, as Sidra had pointed out, it was that very reason that Sidra should go. Elspeth and the other teachers had decided that it was not necessary when they had given Sidra her Whites almost two years ago, but for tradition and for protection's sake, it would be wise if she went on an Internship. No one living within the Palace walls or in the city would ever contest her full Herald status, but an outsider, especially a delegate from another country or one of the Holderkin, might not be so accomidating.

And also, Sidra had insisted that she had a blood debt to pay to Firesong, Silverfox's mate and Elspeth's longtime friend. Elspeth was one of the few people who now knew that Sidra was one of the children that Falconsbane had sired with An'desha's body, along with Nyara, and therefore understood at once what she had meant. Both the mages had saved one another's lives at certain points, and they would always come to each other's aid, just as Elspeth would for them. Sidra thought it was her duty to go in the place of Elspeth and An'desha, who Sidra regarded as her true father.

She was right, of course, but that didn't stop Elspeth from worrying. How could she not? Everyone in the Palace would worry for Sidra once they found out she was gone- there was no way any one of them would not notice she was missing. She was the sister of half the inhabitants, and the pet to the other, especially the noble Blues and the hertasi, both of whom loved to show her off and dress her up in fashions.

She could hear the complaints of the students now; the Bards would fuss and whine, and there would be no less than a dozen new compositions sung about the city. The Healers would worry and sigh. And all the Herald and Mage trainees would want to set off after her at once and might even try to make plans. The Companions would take care of their Chosen, but Elspeth would have to watch her students carefully. Since both the Herald and Mage Collegiums often mingled in certain classes, hopefully she wouldn't have too hard a time.

This type of chaos would be just up Sidra's alley. And she was the one leaving.

_She hasn't left Haven in almost a decade._

_Neither have we._

_We are not as young as she is. _

_What if she goes and decides Haven is too oppressing for her? What if she comes back and becomes overwhelmed?_

_What if she gets to Errold's Grove and decides it's too quiet? What if she gets there and appreciates all the work she has to occupy her in Haven?_

_That would be just like her,_ Elspeth admitted. She could almost feel Darkwind's smile. _Where are you?_

_Here. Wishing I was there._

_Ha. No you don't. I have to interview the Herald that Gwena suggested to escort her._

_Maybe I should be there then,_ Darkwind's mind-voice muttered.

_You're worried too! Admit it!_

_So is Jereth. So will be everyone else, _interjected Gwena, who had oddly been silent while Elspeth had been musing._ Try not to let it influence your judgement here._

_What do you know about Herald Sari?_, Elspeth asked to change the subject.

_Not much. He's a workaholic, even for a Herald. Auberon Chose him when he was about seventeen, right out of the slums of Sunhame, but that's pretty much all anyone but Auberon knows about his past. Maybe Karal knows more. It must not have been nice; he's never spoken about it to anyone that I've heard._

_What about Gifts?_

_He's well rounded. He has a little bit of everything except the Bardic, Healing, and Mage Gifts. Mostly, he's a Mind-speaker and Far-seer but his Fetching is noteworthy as well. No one has anything bad to say about him except that he's about as practical as his Companion is dramatic._

_Don't tell me he wanted to be a minstrel when he was younger._

_Oh no, I meant what I said. Of all the people I asked, most knew only two things about him; he's willing to skip leave and he has no patience for tales. Those who were in his year say that although he is somewhat open minded, he tends to prefer the things beneath his nose to the ones beyond it. Auberon, on the other hand, perfectly balances him, if you know what I mean._ Gwena said the last part with such a weary tone that Elspeth almost laughed out loud.

_Love, I can take care of it,_ Elspeth said, addressing Darkwind. _At least I know he'll take the news well. There's really no one else we can send._

_I'm here_, he reminded her, than she Felt him drift back to whatever he was doing. Although she would have liked to have him beside her, it was nothing she couldn't handle. Only her nervousness of not having Sidra under her watchful eye was making her second guess this.

About ten minutes later, she heard a knock at the door. She called a greeting and a dark head stuck itself in, followed by a white clad body. Herald Sari could have been Karal's cousin or brother, with a mop of dark curls and olive skin that was darker from riding in the sun, traits that many Karse-born shared. He was tall and leanly built, and reminded Elspeth of a male version Herald Keren, who looked like she was born to ride in a saddle.

He greeted her back, "You wanted to see me, Lady Elspeth?" (she had long ago made it clear she didn't want to be known as 'Princess' anymore, but many still called her 'Lady' out of respect), and regarded her with calm golden brown eyes.

For a split second, she allowed herself to wonder why Gwena had not told her how attractive this man was. Elspeth was happily married, but she could see Sari easily making his way through half the women- and men if he saw fit- in any of the Gifted Circles or even in the city with that face.

_As far as I know, he's a chaste as the cloistered sisters of Kernos_, Gwena remarked.

"Yes I did. And I'm sorry to ask this of you, I know you're on leave for a few weeks," Elspeth began. Sari did not look upset or happy as he sat down in the chair in front of her desk. He did, however, look expectant.

"You need me back on Circuit," he stated, in a tone that suggested he wasn't surprised. Then his eyes blinked once and he looked as if he very much wanted to roll them.

_Oh, Auberon is not happy_, Gwena warned Elspeth before she could even think that the eye-roll was meant for herself.

"No actually. I have a mission for you." Now Elspeth picked up the letter but once again, did not unfold it. "I received this from a friend of mine, a kestra'chern named Silverfox."

"Firesong's mate," Sari remarked quietly with a little nod. His face was truly concerned as he looked up at her. She must have looked at him strangely, for he said, "I've heard of Firesong and Silverfox, though I've never met either one."

Elspeth nodded once and went on, "It holds some rather distressing news. Apparently for the past six months, mages living in Errold's Grove have been falling victim to some sort of illness. This is including one of our own Herald-mages, Tayledras mages, and the shamans of the Ghost Cat clan of the Northern Tribes. Firesong himself fell victim to this illness while trying to find the cause of it."

"Excuse me, Lady Elspeth," Sari said slowly, " I can understand why you wouldn't want to send another Herald-mage, as this illness only affects those with the Mage Gift, but why me? Why not send a Healer?"

"Silverfox calls it an illness only for lack of a better term," Elspeth explained. "From what Firesong told him before he was afflicted, he believes it is more akin to a spell, but Silverfox is not a mage himself, and can't be sure. It renders its victims catatonic and not much else. No fever, no coughing, no infection.

"Your mission is more simple than solving this riddle- I need you to escort Herald Sidra up to Errold's Grove," she finished.

"Herald Sidra?" he asked.

"Her Gifts are unique. And she has volunteered. This will also count as her Internship. You won't be expected to travel vie Circuit; just straight to the town and its Vale will do."

His frown deepened, and his eyes took on a faraway look which usually meant a Herald was talking to his Companion.

She waited a moment or two before saying, "To be frank, you are the only Herald who is free, although I have heard you've just got back after an almost four year ride-"

"I'll go, Lady Elspeth," he interrupted quietly, although he still looked troubled. In a louder voice he said, "It's just I think Auberon was hoping I would get stuck with Equestrian classes with Herald Sherri so that he could laze about the Field for a month or two."

"Tell him that I am sorry. I would go myself if I could."

Sari nodded. "When do we leave?"

"As soon as you can. Preferably tomorrow or the next day. Sidra is already getting herself ready."

"I had better do the same," he said, rising out of his chair and turning towards the door.

"Thank you again, Sari," Elspeth called after him.

Sari looked back at her only once and gave her a sort of crooked smile. "It is my honor," he told her simply, and slipped out of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Auberon was nervous. Now, the Companion was known about the Circle for being rather emotional, but even Sari could not remember a time when he had been nervous. He fidgeted about with an energy he couldn't seem to contain, and finally this morning, Sari couldn't take it anymore.

He was walking Auberon around the practice ring where the Guard trained with their horses. Although he knew the Companion would never toss him, Sari was still a bit weary of riding him for now, and was simply trying to work off the nerves.

He'd thought the fault had been his own. Sari, at first, was the one who'd been nervous. The encounter he'd had with Sidra had been days ago, but he still felt rattled every time he thought of it. He knew it was partially because he wasn't used to feeling so strongly about anything, but the other part of him wasn't sure at all about what to call the emotion he felt. He had felt drawn to her and yet repelled, and he couldn't tell which one was stronger- or right.

When Elspeth had told him it would be Sidra he would be escorting, his stomach had leapt into his throat. He'd never felt such anticipation or terror. That alone was keeping him rattled. He felt out of control and out of his depth. Elspeth hadn't seemed to notice, thank Vkandis, or he would have had to explain himself. As if he could have.

Normally, Auberon would have taken to opposite position as Sari as he always had done. When Sari was skeptical, Auberon was trusting. When Sari was irritated, Auberon was soothing. And when Auberon had airs, Sari kept to the ground.

This time, Auberon and Sari had gone their separate ways again, but oddly along the same path. And once Sari had regained enough of his head to really look into it, he realized that Auberon's anger at having been put on a mission again wasn't due to his wanting time to relax, but because of Jereth.

He got the feeling, as he listened to Auberon mutter about nothing, that Jereth was somewhat intimidating. Sari was far less impressed by the older Companion, especially since he had Chosen later than even his own foal (which seemed to have escaped Auberon's notice), and was at a true loss as to why Auberon was stricken. It was enough to reduce him to being walked like a normal, everyday horse (which had also escaped Auberon's notice) but Sari couldn't think of anything else to do.

Truth be told, it was doing them both some good. Not only was it working off the Companion's excess energy, but the repetition of it was serving to ground and center Sari himself. He felt his breathing fall into an even, regular pattern, and his racing mind settled back into the now. He began to put aside yesterday and tomorrow, and pulled this moment to the forefront. Eventually, he Felt Auberon begin to reach for the same place, and he very gently began to lead the Companion's mind along with his hands.

It was nearly two hours before either of them was calm enough to leave the ring. Sari knew that he would have to keep a close eye of Auberon for the whole trip, although he was fairly sure the worst of it was over and done with. As for himself, he could only hope the worst was over for himself as well.

He was walking with Auberon (no longer actually walking him) back to the stables when they were intercepted. The man who approached them was elegant and slight, dressed in the particular green of the Healers. His blond hair was cut short for practicality's sake rather than fashion, but the wide blue eyes he sported easily distracted anyone's gaze from noticing right away. Sari did notice that he was actually wearing clean robes; normally this Healer sported so many stains and patches that it was difficult to tell which color was the original one.

"What can I do for you, Elios," he asked, as the Healer came closer.

"Ouch. What's got a bur under your tail," Eli asked back, raising a golden eyebrow. "You never call me Elios unless something is bothering you. Out with it."

Sari held in a sigh. He should have known Eli wouldn't have been fooled by his light tone. Still, the Healer was the last person Sari wanted to see right now.

Anyone but Eli. Or Sidra, he thought to himself.

Out loud, he said, "Just a bit world weary. We're going back out tomorrow and we're both getting a bit impatient." It wasn't exactly a lie and it was something Eli would expect of him.

This time, it worked. "I know. That's what I came to talk to you about. I spoke with Herald Elspeth and convinced her to let me come with you."

Auberon snickered in his mind and Sari mentally groaned himself. This mission was going to kill him.

"Oh, Eli," he said, not even bothering to hide the disapproval in his voice, "That would not be a good idea."

"Sari, we've been through this," Eli started.

"I know, I know. You're over it." Sari told him that he believed it every time it came up, but Sari was enough of an Empath to know it wasn't true at all.

_You would think he'd have gotten the picture years ago_, Auberon remarked. _Especially after that time he tried to make you jealous._

They had had a fling for a brief month back when they were both trainees, right after Sari had arrived, and right before Sari had realized that it would not be fair for any partner he took. Sari didn't think about trysting the same way others did—it was an unemotional, unpleasurable thing for him. It had taken him the whole month to realize that he was only performing the act because he was not used to not performing it, and he had been using Eli to do it.

Of course Eli hadn't understood. For years he'd tried every trick from every tale; trying a hand at making Sari jealous, following him around like a duckling, ignoring him completely. It had only served to make Sari feel pity that they hadn't worked at all. A treacherous part of him almost wished that he could give back some of what Eli had been trying to give, but it was not to be. Sari was resolved and that feeling was only further cemented by the fact that Auberon was in complete agreement with him.

Eventually, Eli had tried a new tactic; friendship and denial. He socialized with Sari in public, among mutual friends and year-mates, and claimed to harbor no leftover affections for the Herald. Sari could only hope that one day the Healer would actually begin to believe it himself. Until then, he treaded lightly around him, and never sought out his company except for medicinal reasons.

_At least he's stopped saving himself for you_, Auberon teased.

"I was thinking more along the lines of mechanics. We're going on Companion-back," Sari pointed out aloud. "Horses don't travel as fast or for as long as Companions."

"Well then, you're going to have to make do. If this mission is successful, than the Errold's Grove healers are going to need help. As far as I know, there's only one or two up there, so it's not as if I completely invited myself along. Even though I did," Eli added with a shrug.

_I can't believe Elspeth went along with this. This is Firesong we're talking about here_, Sari told Auberon. _Am I wrong? I thought they were close! How could she want this delayed even a few days?_

_He's going to come anyway. We can't just leave him behind on the road to fend for himself_, the Companion reminded him. _And he has a point._

Sari knew it, but did it have to be Eli?

Now he did sigh. "We're leaving early tomorrow."

"I know. I'll be ready," Eli replied, flashing him a grin. It was that grin that had first drawn Sari to him, but now it had no special charms.

"Well. His Majesty here needs a drink," Sari said, rolling his eyes.

_I'm not thirsty_.

Eli nodded as Sari physically led Auberon past him and down the field.

_Just whose side are you on?_

*****

Sidra did her best not to listen in on the heated conversation that the Companion Auberon and his Chosen were having down on the other end of the stable. At least she had managed to shield herself from the actual words being passed back and forth, even if completely shielding her Empathy had not worked. Both of their emotions were frantic and erratic, and she had to go against all of her training and instincts not to go to them to soothe what she could.

When Elspeth had informed her that they would be the ones to travel with her on the mission, Jereth had pointed them out, and Sidra had recognized the Herald at once. He was a rare sight; she could count on one hand the amount of times she'd Felt him in Haven. He'd been in the Shrine only a few days ago, and had left abruptly after she had interrupted his meditation.

The encounter puzzled her a bit. It hadn't at the time, but Altra had asked her why she had spoken to Sari in Karsite and not Valdermarian, and that had got her thinking. As honed as her senses were, there was really no way she could tell a person's nationality by their emotions and auras, not unless they gave themselves away with classic reactions, but even that was unreliable. Sidra could tell a Shin'a'in by the way they relaxed around horses, but the Palace stablehands had the same reaction. There was once a Rethwellan delegate who gave himself away at once by his reaction to a pair of shaych Guards, but then half the city was prejudiced against those pairings.

A person could argue that it was a common mistake to simply assume that anyone praying or meditating in the Sun Shrine would be Karsite. Yet, Sidra was often present when the Queen's Own Talia, who was also a Sunpriest, was performing her duties in the Shrine. Going on that alone, Sidra would not have been able to tell the difference between Talia and Sidra's heart-uncle Karal—their emotional states in the Shrine were close enough that both could have been taken as Karsite, but of the two, the Karsite was Karal. Sidra could not claim ignorance to that.

Sidra had made a mistake of assumption that had turned out not to be a mistake at all, but it still left her feeling uneasy. There was simply no explanation for it. Not one she could think of anyway.

_What have I missed here?,_ she asked Jereth, mildly irritated.

_I couldn't tell you_, he answered honestly.

_I'm not a novice. I'm not a Trainee. I'm not even a green Herald!_

_The very wisest._

_I'm very confused._

_You'll figure it out_, he assured her, lipping a lock of her hair.

She didn't even bother to brush him away; they'd been together for far too long for her to ever break him of the habit. Her only retaliation was to tap the tips of her fingers up his nose, something that never failed to give him what children called "ghost tingles", but even that hardly worked. He would back off… for a few minutes.

_I have to go_, she told him, reluctantly pulling away. _I promised Freia I would help her pack. She wants to make sure I know where everything is._

_I know hertasi don't travel well, but I'm honestly surprised she did not demand to go with you,_ Jereth said.

_I think she wanted to and talked herself out of it. Interns don't have hertasi tagging along with them. Besides, who would watch my things?_ She cupped his cheeks in her hands and planted a kiss right in between his eyes. _I will see you tomorrow._

Sidra made her way out of the stall and down towards the entrance. She stopped only once to visit one of the unChosen Companion fillies; she was about to foal and was nervous. Sidra soothed her fears and reassured her that even though Sidra would not be there, she was in good hands. No one would think to leave her alone when she was so close, and besides, there were other more capable 'midwives' than Sidra herself.

With that done, she left the stable, the Companions, and Herald Sari behind.


	4. Chapter 4

Sidra had delicate hopes when she made her way out to the Guard's gate. Beside her, Jereth did not comment, but that was not unusual. Most of their conversations were an exchange of emotions and pictures rather than words and thoughts; it was faster and simpler to talk with emotions, especially when they were not particularly necessary. Like now—both of them were amused because Freia was following them at a distance, determined to see them off without Sidra or Jereth noticing. Neither the Herald nor the Companion needed to actually say that they thought it was funny—their rapport told them that they already thought so.

Much of her time the night before had been spent in meditation and immersion in that rapport with Jereth. With his steady nerves and wisdom, together they had examined the encounter she'd had with Herald Sari, taking it apart by small bits of colors and moments. Today she felt like certain things had been revealed to her, and she felt much more confident than she had in days. Nothing had been truly solved—Sidra would have to actually work things out with Sari himself—but she no longer felt like she was lost.

That did not mean she would not have to tiptoe her way through this journey. As she got closer to the gate, she Felt Herald Sari spot her and abruptly realized that the uneasiness in him the day before had been tied to their encounter. He had gone from distant and impatient to be on the road to nervous and eager to escape, all because she had suddenly appeared. He was nowhere near as bad as yesterday, but still was not particularly encouraging.

Auberon's mood, on the other hand, sank right back into the hole it had been in the day before. Sidra could almost feel her own knees begin to turn to liquid in sympathy for his plight, but she was prepared for this. Sidra had not only learned things about herself the night before; she had learned a fare bit about Jereth and what he knew about Auberon, and she was not at a loss as to what was going between the two of them.

There was an awkward moment of greeting once Sidra and her Companion approached, awkward on the inside but not to any onlookers who happened to see them. Sidra eased herself into position between the two Companions, a living barrier. One of her hands traveled up along Auberon's flank to settle just on his beneath his jawline, massaging the spot just a little bit. She gently reached out and Mindtouched the Companion, not enough to talk or connect, but enough to convey two things. One: that she completely understood. Two: that she was willing to act as an ally and a buffer for him, should he need it.

Auberon relaxed and turned his head to nose her elbow. She smiled and let her hand fall away, leaving him in his Chosen's care. Her reassurance had also helped Sari; with Auberon calmer, he was calmer, even if the mood was still a bit awkward.

It stayed that way until Eli finally came. He rode up in his usual peppy mood, oblivious to what he had just interrupted. Sidra had hoped that Eli would serve as her own buffer, standing in between Sari and herself. She and Eli were old friends, and even student and teacher for a brief moment in her education, and she had been somewhat relieved when she had been informed that he was going.

That idea quickly went out the window and now she felt sympathy for poor Herald Sari. Sidra had known that Eli had an old love he was trying to hold onto; now it became clear that this old love was Sari and that the Herald did not share the Healer's feelings.

Sidra, since she had not known Sari, had been reluctant to warn Eli off his attempts to win his love back, opting to only remind him that many such tactics only served to strengthen the other party's resolve. She had seen servants and guards try to win former partners back and fail, but there were plenty of others who succeeded if they played the game correctly. It depended on the person whom they were chasing, and the person doing the chasing.

It was far too early to be sure, but Sidra had a feeling Sari could not be won back. Eli's feelings were more along the lines of infatuation than love, and Sari did not even share that!

_Oh you poor, poor thing_, Sidra thought silently.

She hadn't realized that she'd actually mindspoken to Sari until he answered back_, I wish I could say I avoid Haven because he is here, but it doesn't even affect me as deeply as that._ His mindvoice was regretful and embarrassed. _He's tried so hard and it's… not working._

For a brief moment, Sidra and Sari were united on one front; Eli's feelings had to be dealt with. The Healer was in for a lifetime of heartbreak if he wasn't made to understand. Out of the three of them, Eli was the only one who was unGifted, a healer who specialized in herb and practical healing (as well as wonderfully talented and good at it), and it would be harder for him to see what the Heralds already knew.

Then the moment broke and they were once again divided but not before sharing one last thought; _This is going to be a long trip_.

Eli's lack of Gift turned out to be a blessing as well as a curse. He had absolutely no clue as to what was going on in their little group and so was not at all thrown off balance by how Sari and Sidra were feeling. He instantly fell into conversation with Sidra, gushing with anticipation about their trip, and his enthusiasm became infectious. He had been briefed but was eager to bounce ideas off her about what she thought the 'sickness' actually was, and what they could do once they reached Errold's Grove.

"Did Silverfox mention if anyone has died from it yet?" he asked.

"No," Sari answered before Sidra could. His voice was soft and distracted—as soon as they had started their conversation, he had stopped paying close attention—but the sound still made the back of Sidra's neck prickle.

"If what I hear of him is true, I think Silverfox would have mentioned it if someone had. That does not mean we will arrive in time," Sidra amended, ignoring the prickle.

"If you don't mind my asking, why is Herald Elspeth sending you and not another Healer or Mage?" Eli asked. "I mean, I know why I was allowed to come, but why were you chosen? I thought your work at the Palace, among the Collegia, was extremely important."

All of Sari's attention snapped back to them and he was instantly offended for her. For a brief moment, he bristled with annoyance and Sidra knew why. True, Eli was not in charge, and was not responsible for making sure those on the mission should be here, but she was used to his unabashed curiosity. And there was really no harm in answering, especially since Eli was not interested in taking charge or replacing any of them.

"It is, but it was work that Herald Talia was doing before," she pointed out. "And I volunteered. Officially this will count as my Internship. Unofficially, well… let us just say I have my reasons."

"Box fever?" Eli teased. "Need fresh air, eh?"

Sidra smiled. "You could say that." It was partially true; she had not seen much of Valdemar except the parts they had passed through when Jereth had Chosen her, and she was curious in her own right. This satisfied Eli, but she knew Sari was not fooled. Either he already knew why she had volunteered or he was wise enough to work out that 'box fever' and her lack of Internship were not enough to convince Elspeth to let her go.

Sidra was fairly sure Sari didn't actually know. While her relationship with An'desha was not exactly a secret, Sidra did not flaunt it about. It was not a normal father and daughter relationship and she could not wear it on her sleeve like others did, expected and taken for granted. Those who already knew also respected her privacy, and usually didn't offer the information up on a whim. Elspeth wouldn't have told Sari unless she felt it was relevant, and it wasn't.

The two Heralds mounted and then all three of them were on their way.

*****

As they wound their way through Haven, the thought that this trip might not be so difficult entered Sari's mind. He had grossly underestimated Sidra, had forgotten that she was like Herald Talia in her own way, and had compared her to… well, Eli. He had fully anticipated that he would have to watch his back, awkwardly trying to budget his time between Auberon, Eli, and Sidra to define the relationship he shared with the two humans and repair the uneasy one between his Companion and Sidra's.

Sari hadn't expected Sidra to help. He hadn't expected that she was already friends with Eli (which he realized now was a pretty stupid oversight of his considering they both were assigned to the Palace) or that she would understand what was going on. The first thing she had done was place herself physically between the two Companions. Auberon had relaxed, had even chuckled a bit.

What it came down to was that he had assumed he'd have to do all the work himself. Sari was used to being alone, to working alone, except for Auberon of course, and for long periods of time.

_Didn't sound that way to me_, Auberon broke in, his voice teasing. _You mindspeak with her easily enough._

_Hush_, Sari scolded, even though it was true. Their brief exchange had been as natural as breathing.

He turned back in the saddle, telling himself he was making sure that they were both following behind him all right. Haven was built like a labyrinth, for defense like a fortress, and it was easy to get lost. Sidra had Jereth to help her, but Eli was on horseback. Haven was a bustling city; if they got separated…

For a moment, he didn't see them. He realized he had allowed his musings to make his mind drift far enough that he had lost track of them.

Vkandis, he thought. I just hope Sidra's minding Eli.

Then, suddenly Eli's voice struck Sari's right ear and he turned the opposite way to find them both on his right side, out of his line of vision when he'd turned to the left. The Healer was talking about something or another, and Sari couldn't help but give an exasperated smile.

Before he turned back to the road, his eyes inevitably fell on Sidra. She rode serenely, dressed in traveling Whites like the Herald she was, but her head and shoulders were covered in a scarf of varying shades of blue and silver. It was designed to look like it fell over her eyes and shaded them from view, but Sari knew part of it was actually her eyewrap underneath. They blended so perfectly that no one who didn't know better could tell.

His eyes were drawn downward, noticing that the blues in the scarf matched the blues in Jereth's tack and saddle, and then Sari saw Sidra's hands. Although her body seemed relaxed and calm, her hands were clenched in Jereth's mane as if she was afraid she would lose her seat. Since Companions were known for preventing that very thing, there must be something else wrong with her.

Sari felt the urge to mindtouch her again, but didn't have the nerve. He could only hope that whatever it was, Jereth was helping her with it. For his part, he turned back to focus on the road, leading the two he was meant to escort out of Haven.

He did, however, spare a moment wishing that he was the one who rode in the middle, not Eli.


	5. Chapter 5

_It's so quiet._

_Surprised?_

_No… Yes. I had forgotten. _

Laughter. Amusement. _You don't sound at all happy about it._

_I feel like I've been drowning before this. Like I can suddenly breathe again. _

_Oh, Sidra…_

"Are you okay?"

Sidra turned slightly in the direction of Sari's voice. "Hm?"

"You just seemed tense for awhile there. A couple of days," he answered quietly, as if he already knew how she felt. She Felt him come up beside her, and heard the telltale creak of the wood as he leaned his weight against the wall.

Four days into the trip had seen a change in Herald Sari. He was in his element, on the road, and it showed. He was still uneasy around her and Eli, but the very core of him was beginning to regain the steady nature that he was known for. She could see what had attracted Auberon to him in the first place, and what had won the respect of the towns and people he visited on Circuit.

"I had no idea that you had noticed," she teased him gently. "You seemed a bit distracted yourself."

Sari clucked his tongue, but he let the joke roll off him. "Where is Eli anyway?"

"Socializing," she answered. "He's a few doors over." Now that she was so far away from Haven, the two Companions, Sari, Eli, and even Eli's horse shone like beacons among the unfamiliar inhabitants of the inn they were staying in for the night and of the town beyond.

"At the healer's?"

Sidra nodded and felt herself take in a deep breath. She could feel his eyes on her and she could Feel his concern. A second passed by where she wondered how long he'd been gathering the courage to talk to her alone.

She let out her breath and sighed, "It's like passing through a _taifu_."

"A _taifu_?"

"It's a Haighlei word. It's the name of a storm that comes in from the Western Sea at certain periods of the year. A teacher of mine used to live in White Gryphon and she told me of _taifus_. They are incredibly strong and long lasting, with winds that strip bark off trees."

Sidra paused, taking in another deep breath before continuing. "_Taifus_ have an interesting feature; at the center of the storm, there is a circle of calm. It's misleading; the sun comes out, the wind and the rain stops. All is quiet and serene. Then the center passes on and the storm comes back with a vengeance.

"That's how I feel. I've been living in the center. The wind has been swirling all about me, but in my little bubble, the wind is unable to toss me this way and that. The Palace is my center, the city and beyond is the storm. I'm just a bit ruffled, that's all."

Sari didn't comment but he didn't need to. He was contemplating what she had said, possibly even comparing it to his own personal experiences.

"Can you handle it?" he eventually asked, as if he was not sure he agreed with her assessment.

She turned and sent a smile his way. "The worst is over. I can barely hear the city now." She paused again before saying, "It's so quiet."

"And that is what's really bothering you, isn't it?" She frowned and he added, "You're not the only empath in the room."

Sidra didn't bother to correct him. She was well aware that he was at least mildly empathetic- she had just been surprised at how much he had just sounded like Jereth.

"I'm sorry, Sari," she told him, changing the subject. "I wish I could be of more help to you while we travel. I know the towns and inns won't last forever."

It was like a dance. Broach the subject then twirl away into another. Bits and pieces revealed, never all at once. Not because she wanted it to; because that was what was happening. This was just how it was going to go.

Sari took her lead, willing to play. She could hear the shrug in his tone, "You aren't the first escort I've had to run. And only a few of them were used to a Herald's pace or even life on the road. There was one time I had to bring a noble's daughter to her betrothed's estate—through a rival family's territory. They've never come to blows per say (the Queen wouldn't stand for that if they did) but they are not above sabotaging each other's holdings and the like. Kidnapping the daughter and holding her for ransom seemed like a fun time for the rival's children. She cried. A lot."

Sidra laughed quietly and said, "Well, at least I can keep watch in the Waystations. At my range, it'll be tough for noble's children to sneak up on us."

"Vkandis forbid. But when the rival found out that a single Herald was escorting the daughter, he was furious at his sons. When he found out that that particular Herald was me, he offered us lodging for the night at his estate." Sari chuckled. "It wasn't the first time he and I had met. You could say he owed me a favor."

"May this trip be uneventful," Sidra prayed quietly in Karsite after another small sigh.

The bright spot that was Eli began to move, making its way closer to the inn. She concentrated enough to discern his mood and found him to be hungry.

"Eli's on his way back," she stated.

"Hm," Sari answered before adding, "I'm hungry. Are you?"

"A little."

"I'll have something brought up," he said. She heard him turn to go.

"I can come downstairs," she protested. Sari's footsteps paused, and though he didn't speak, his emotions spoke volumes. She didn't like to eat in the public rooms of the inns; she had never been aware of just how uncanny her appearance was before the trip. Though she couldn't see them, she was well aware of the eyes that followed her every move. The feeling of being constantly watched, especially as they got further away from Haven, was starting to make her very uncomfortable.

And he obviously knew it.

Sidra waved in dismissal and he left the room, leaving a feeling of triumph and a lingering "I told you so" thought in his wake.

_Think of it; you won't have that problem in Errold's Grove. Firesong lives nearby in K'Valdemar Vale— how exotic can you look compared to him?_

Sidra almost laughed out loud. Then she sobered up.

_That is if this mission goes well. _

_There have been no reports of deaths yet_, Jereth said. _Rolan is still able to talk to Karles since Herald Shandi hasn't been affected, but Herald Anda and his Companion Eran are both down. They know you're coming. They'll do all they can to help you._

_This is not impossible_, she reminded herself.

_Neither is the journey._

_No, thank Kalanel._

* * *

_Author's Note: _Taifu_ is the Japanese word for "hurricane". I chose this word because I could not find a Kaled'a'in equivalent. Since the Haighlei are supposed to be a mixture of African and Japanese cultures, I thought it would be appropriate._

_Kalanel is the Karsite term for Kal'enel, the Star Eyed Goddess of the Shin'a'in._


	6. Chapter 6

They were three days out of Kelmskeep before Eli suddenly had an epiphany.

It happened while they were getting ready to spend the night in a waystation. Sari was outside, chopping wood to replace the logs they would be using for the night. Inside, Eli himself was stirring the pot of soup they would be eating, and Sidra, well…

Sidra was leaning against a wall nearby, doing nothing. Eli felt very sorry for her; having been one of her former teachers, he knew her better than most people and was well aware that she did not like to be idle. When she was not using her Gifts to help those around her, she was studying. Here in the waystation, she could do neither, nor with her handicap could she help get ready for the night. If she was using the time for meditation, that would be one thing, but Eli knew that she did most of it while they were riding. He wasn't Gifted, but he didn't need to be to know that she was frustrated.

She hid it very well, of course. Even the people she was close to could not always be sure as to what she was thinking or feeling. Eli had to rely on his past experiences with her, reflecting on her behaviors and her own admissions. Sidra rarely sounded or looked anything more than serene or pensive- but she never failed to ask how, if, and when she could help, and often.

It was because of this gift of being mysterious and having nothing to hide at the same time that kept Eli on the fence about his epiphany. Was she a part of it? Did she even know? Of course she knew; her whole career as a Herald stemmed from her strong Empathy, just like Talia's.

It was his hyper awareness of Sari that had led him to suddenly realize what had been going on. As much as Sari wanted to deny it, Eli knew him. Hell, he knew Sari better than he knew Sidra, and they had been student and teacher.

He couldn't deny that it made him sad. As much as he lied about it, there would always be a part of him that hoped… well… that he was in Sidra's position. That it was him that Sari was watching out of the corner of his eye. That it was his voice that made Sari turn his focus away from the road.

Oh, Eli was not a fool enough to assume that Sidra's nature played no part of it. Her Gifts, so like a mutated Bardic Gift, could not be repressed completely by even her strongest shields, and Eli hoped they never were. Sidra had talked suicidal mages into her arms with that voice. She had coaxed hiding children back into the light. And he had heard her sing the dying into oblivion with it. Had heard them sigh, seen their eyes close, their faces growing still, a soft smile frozen at the corner of their mouths.

No one heard the same thing when Sidra spoke to them. Some heard a mother, some a friend, and others only understanding and comfort. Eli heard the soft, ever forgiving, ever loyal tones of a beloved sister in that voice- and he was an only child.

Sari heard something different. It was not obvious, but they had been on the road for weeks alone together. And Eli knew it was not a mother or a sister he heard.

So Eli was sad.

He was also somewhat relieved. Although Sari had never actually told him why he had broken their pairing so long ago, Eli had gotten the impression that Sari thought that he was incapable of loving. Of being in love.

That made his epiphany two fold. He realized that Sari would never come back to him. Had probably never loved him, and that Sari had been trying to tell him that for years. Sari had feelings for someone else now, feelings that were definitely not like the ones he had shared with Eli.

The second part of his epiphany was that he was not in love with Sari either. It was his relief that had suddenly made that clear. Eli was a Healer, not a Gifted one, but a Healer nonetheless. Had he been chasing after Sari because his feelings were that of love, or instincts of his trade? Had he been trying to tell Sari that he was available to love because he loved Sari, or because he wanted Sari to be able to love?

Eli wanted to ask Sidra. This sort of thing was her calling, but she was the object of Sari's feelings. If Eli was hyperaware of Sari, then it was Sidra who Sari was hyperaware of.

And it seemed that Sari was having trouble dealing with it, and that made Eli wonder even more. Maybe Sari didn't know how to love. Maybe Sari didn't even know he was in love. Maybe Sidra had rejected him already.

Maybe, maybe, maybe…

So Eli watched Sidra now, but it was hard. She was adept at looking both mysterious and like she had absolutely nothing hidden beneath the surface at the same time. Frustrating.

It was cliché, but Eli wanted Sari to be happy. Wanted them both to be happy.

He was still stirring the pot when he heard Sidra sigh, "It's a bit more complicated than that, Eli…"

Eli looked up sharply. Sidra hadn't moved, hadn't turned in his direction. "Listening in?" he asked, his tone accusing.

"I didn't need to. Your feelings and thoughts are shouting at me. You and Sari and the Companions are the only ones I can hear," she said, her tone apologetic. "I can't exactly make out what you are thinking, but I can guess."

Damn her voice and her logic. Eli felt his brief anger subside.

He paused, tasting the soup before asking, "Do you love him back?"

She didn't answer, and Eli looked up again. Her shoulders were slumped. She had her bottom lip in between her teeth like a girl half her age would, and her fingers worried a bit of yarn that was braided into her hair. He had never seen her body language "talking" so loud.

"I don't know, Eli," she whispered. "I told you that it's very complicated. Neither of us meant for it to happen; it just did. And it scares me. I'm bound now to a person I hardly know, and I didn't choose it."

"Wait, are you saying that you two are-" She held up a hand before he could go on, shaking her head as if she couldn't bear it if he said the words.

Great Havens… Eli hadn't thought of that.

At first he was confused. How could she think this was a bad thing? Forget that it was Sari she was bonded to, wasn't this type of thing coveted? Bards sang about these things. The Queen and her Own were both part of bonds like this one.

Then he remembered; wasn't there a story from awhile back about Sidra involving a pair of lifebonded foreigners? A story that ended badly? He couldn't remember exactly. It was something he had heard as a student right before he got his Greens, almost a decade ago. He had been still trying to make Sari jealous at the time, so it hadn't made a long lasting impression.

"If you don't mind me asking-"

She cut him off before he could go on. "I really don't want to talk about it, Eli. WE haven't even talked about it yet to each other. There will be plenty of time once we reach k'Valdemar Vale." Her voice was not unkind, just sad.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly.

Sidra nodded. "If I don't get the whole situation solved in a month, it'll be snow season, and that might be too late. Sari will make it back to Haven on his own, but not with you and me in tow. It'll be best if we winter up here at that point."

"I hadn't thought of that." He paused and then said, "Sidra-"

"Eli, please…"

A blast of cold air hit them both before he could insist. Sari kicked the door shut behind him quickly, shaking himself like a dog. There wasn't anything to shake off except the cold, which had been steadily growing as they traveled. The weather had been deceptive this year, with summer like days stretching further into autumn than they should. It had been nice, but now it seemed that winter was making up for lost time.

Eli watched as Sari shook his head again and made his way further in. He stooped to dump the wood into the box, except for a single log which he immediately threw into the fire. Then he leaned in so close that Eli was half afraid the Herald was going to throw himself in after it.

"It isn't that cold…" Eli muttered.

"You can go outside next time," Sari answered, turning his face briefly to look at Eli's own. Sari's dark skin was slightly red, certainly his nose was, and he'd let his dark hair fall loose to cover the back of his neck for warmth. Once he warmed up, Eli knew he'd pull it back again. It was short enough that it didn't look better or worse pulled back, but long enough that it bothered him. Sari was never one for wearing his hair long. Neither was Eli to be honest.

"Oh, you think I couldn't?" he asked, pretending that he was offended.

"I know you couldn't, Lily Hands. You're the best non-Gifted surgeon in the kingdom. If you think that I am going to let you near that axe, then you are insane. Probably are anyway; I wouldn't let you near it for fear that you might fancy yourself an axe-man and run off to the Sorrows," Sari grumbled.

Eli laughed. When he had calmed down enough to safely take the soup off the fire, he happened to glance at Sidra's face. She was back to her serene self, but there was a hint of a smile on her cheeks. Even though he knew she couldn't see, Eli smiled back.

* * *

_Author's note: Okay, I just wanted to explain something._

_Here's the short version: I really hate love triangles._

_Here's the long version: I really hate love triangles. I had originally created Eli as a character to add depth to Sari's past, never really intending to have him be an integral part of the storyline. I decided it might be fun to have him come along for the ride, complicating Sari's journey. And then a fit of writer's block hit me._

_And then, a few months later, it hit me that my writer's block was stemming from me hating the fact that I had put myself into a position where I had to deal with my very own love triangle. Oh, gods… I was constantly trying to figure out how I wanted the resolution of said triangle to play out. I knew which way I wanted Sari to go- obviously Sidra's. What I didn't know was what to do with Eli._

_Not my original intention at all. This story was NOT supposed to be a high school drama. I never meant to hurt you Eli T.T… _

_Anyways, I thought it would be best for me if I resolved it as soon as possible. Oh, it might come up again- remember, Sidra only suspects Eli's change of heart, and Sari is absolutely oblivious, but it will no longer be a major plot point. _

_Sorry for those of you who were itching for some juicy "HE DOESN'T LOVE ME!" angst. The only angst from now on will be Sari's and Sidra's. And maybe Firesong's, you know how he loves to upstage._


End file.
